Nightmare at the Funny Farm.
October is the month
of monsters and at the Funny Farm ours comes in the form of a gross ugly
animal. This beast is very sly and cunning. It waits until dark and sneaks out
of every crack and corner of the farm. It has a small yet sturdy body filled
with thousands of sharp daggers. It uses these daggers to torture every dog at
the Funny Farm. The monster is as slow as an old fashioned zombie and as invisible
as a ghost, but let me assure you it is deadly. Okay, maybe not deadly, but in
the eyes all of our dogs it is definitely a monster. A monster that comes in
the dark of night to steal their food and taint their drinking water. A monster
that upon every encounter leaves them with mouths and bodies riddled with its
sharp little daggers.
I slowly drove my
pickup through the gate entering our farm. Odd, there was no barking and even
more alarming no dogs came to meet me in the drive. I turned off the engine and
listened. Eight dogs and all I heard was a small whine and a few distant barks.
Then I spotted them not one, not two, but five prickly-faced animals came
racing and limping toward me.
I examined my wounded
pets. Yes they had definitely had an encounter with the dagger monster. Rex,
our white pointer was running amuck, much like the Sanderson
Sisters and Shadow, our old black lab had the limp of a zombie along with a
decent amount of daggers in her mouth and nose. Bella, Coco and Buddy had only
suffered minor injuries, sporting a few daggers in their noses.
At this point things didn't look too
bad, but I was still missing some dogs. I rounded the barn and thankfully found
Lucky and Cookie still in their kennels and unharmed.
There was only one dog missing. Tess.
Yes, Tess the Mess was nowhere to be found.
The search was on. I looked in the
barn, the kennels and all around the house, no Tess. There I stood, worrying
and wondering if she had survived the attack from the dagger monster. Then I
heard something in the hen house. "Tess is that you?"
I opened the door. What I saw made me
back out the door tripping in my haste. My scream brought all of my protective
pets, daggers and all to my rescue. I was so impressed by their bravery. Even
with their sore mouths and bodies, they would protect me from the dagger
monster that was dashing toward me.
My hands instinctively flew up to
protect my face, but there was no attack and my brave defenders were quickly
moving away from me. I uncovered my face and there it stood, my prickly dagger
monster, Tess. Her head and chest were completely covered with the sharp barbs
and she thought that me petting her would put her out of her misery.
"No Tess. No petting for you. You
and I are going to take another trip to the vet. Miss Angie won't believe
this."
Leaving my husband to deal with the
other wounded warriors, Tess and I drove to the vet and after a good sleep Tess
found herself grounded, back on her tie out in town. One night out at the Funny
Farm was all it took for her to get herself and most of her pawed pals into
trouble. I can't wait to hear what she has to say about this mess.
C.L. Collar
