A Series of Unfortunate Events
Day 2 (The Battle on the Porch)
This day was just as miserable as day one. Even though the rain had stopped, the cold 40 mph wind had not let up. In fact I think it was gusting up to 60 mph at times and just going outside was pure torture. I watched my beautiful back yard go from a sweet haven of rest to an annoying mess. My lawn chairs were askew and their cushions were strewn everywhere. The neighborhood trash was whistling along its merry way ending its precarious journey in my beautiful flowerbeds. I watched as long as my ODC would allow then slipped into my favorite attire, sweats and flip flops (you’ve probably noticed I don’t wear shoes very often) and prepared myself for the blustering blast that would greet me when I opened the door. My first attacker was a distraught chair cushion. The desperate cushion had wedged itself between the door and the bar-b-que trying to escape the violent wind and in doing so was blocking my exit. After a great deal of effort, I squished it flat enough to squeeze through the door and into the mayhem that had now had taken over my backyard. I must admit that cushion put up a good fight, but I finally won the battle and with much duress threw it into the house. Burrowing into my hoodie, I grabbed the other cushions and stuffed them into the storage chest. Next, as if wanting revenge for my harsh treatment of its cushions, the lawn chair viciously smacked my right shin. Grabbing the abusive chair, I jammed it under the table just in time to get smacked in the face by a malicious tablecloth. I fought with that cloth for a good five minutes before she surrendered and found herself cowering in the chest along with my other assailants. Now I was out of breath, pissed off and my poor little toes were turning a nice shade of blue. As I gazed at the storm still causing turmoil in my backyard I just shook my head. The decision was made. ODC or not, I was going back inside the house and I was going to stay there until this wicked wind went away!