Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Finding Fairyland

 A Little Something from my Book of Fairy Tales & Poems 
Finding Fey
By C. L. Collar

If you can place a lady slipper
on your foot you may,
Find a lighted pathway
into the land of Fey.






If you can play a melody
on a fluted reed,
And sing yourself to Fairyland,
you just might succeed.
 
If you can catch a moonbeam
sleeping on a dream,
And climb upon it to the stars,
you’re where the Fairies sing.

If you can catch a falling star,
and hold it in your hand,
Then you know you have arrived,
you are in Fairyland ! 


http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Fey-C-L-Collar-ebook/dp/B00I7JJKFC/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Days of Wind ~ A Series of Unfortunate Events~ Day 1


Days of Wind
(A Series of Unfortunate Events)

This series of unfortunate events in my life started about 3 days ago.
Day One.
I woke up at 2:00 A.M. to a small whine at the bottom of my bed. That would be my newly adopted Chihuahua pup. This was accompanied by the clatter of thunder followed by a small hail storm spend along by a 40 mph wind. Needless to say I did not get much sleep.  When morning finally got here I was so exhausted that I did not notice the small pile of poop on my bedroom floor until I stepped in it. Yes YUCK would be the word to describe my feelings on the matter of my new pup literally getting the poop scared out of her. After a few choice words, a lot of cleanup and a pup sent quickly outside, I was ready to start my day or so I thought. It was still raining so said pup did not want to go out into the rain to pee and poop and I not wanting to have anymore unexpected surprises in my house grabbed my coat and flip flops and stood out in the freezing weather while she hesitantly did her jobs while trying not to get blown across the yard by the still gusting 40 mph wind. I kind of felt sorry for her, trying to hold herself in place and not get blown over, but I felt more strongly about not wanting this chore done inside. While waiting I noticed my brand new yellow rose bush, yet to be planted, was being literally beat to death. I push my way through the wind and rain to save my precious plant. The guy at the flower shop apparently forgot to tell me that this dainty sophisticated looking plant had a secret life as a dominatrix. As I reached down to pick her up she viciously slapped my face and then proceeded to flog me with her thorny branches all the way to the house. (Next time I will just let her stay outside!) Finally, pup, sadistic plant and I are all safely in the house.  To be continued
By Cathy Collar

Days of wind ~ Day 2

Days of Wind

A Series of Unfortunate Events
Day 2 (The Battle on the Porch)
This day was just as miserable as day one. Even though the rain had stopped, the cold 40 mph wind had not let up. In fact I think it was gusting up to 60 mph at times and just going outside was pure torture. I watched my beautiful back yard go from a sweet haven of rest to an annoying mess. My lawn chairs were askew and their cushions were strewn everywhere. The neighborhood trash was whistling along its merry way ending its precarious journey in my beautiful flowerbeds. I watched as long as my ODC would allow then slipped into my favorite attire, sweats and flip flops (you’ve probably noticed I don’t wear shoes very often) and prepared myself for the blustering blast that would greet me when I opened the door. My first attacker was a distraught chair cushion. The desperate cushion had wedged itself between the door and the bar-b-que trying to escape the violent wind and in doing so was blocking my exit. After a great deal of effort, I squished it flat enough to squeeze through the door and into the mayhem that had now had taken over my backyard. I must admit that cushion put up a good fight, but I finally won the battle and with much duress threw it into the house. Burrowing into my hoodie, I grabbed the other cushions and stuffed them into the storage chest. Next, as if wanting revenge for my harsh treatment of its cushions, the lawn chair viciously smacked my right shin. Grabbing the abusive chair, I jammed it under the table just in time to get smacked in the face by a  malicious tablecloth. I fought with that cloth for a good five minutes before she surrendered and found herself cowering in the chest along with my other assailants. Now I was out of breath, pissed off and my poor little toes were turning a nice shade of blue. As I gazed at the storm still causing turmoil in my backyard I just shook my head. The decision was made. ODC or not, I was going back inside the house and I was going to stay there until this wicked wind went away!

Days Of Wind ~ Day 3


Days of Wind  (A Series of Unfortunate Events)
Day 3 (The Battle at The Farm)
By Cathy Collar

After vowing not to go out into the wicked wind because of being abused by its brutal blows two days in a row, I was forced to break my cherished vow. My husband was stuck at work and I was left with the job of going to feed our dogs on the farm. Yeah! Although the wind had lessened a bit it was still screaming and howling at anyone who dared to open their door. Determined to get this job done quickly and return to my safe haven, I bundled up in thermals, jeans and all other things farmy (yes even boots) and headed out.
             Following a fierce battle with the truck door (apparently the truck didn’t want to go anywhere either) I was finally on my way. The ten miles to the farm felt more like fifty with the added bonus of dodging enormous tumble weeds, flying trash bags and low flying birds struggling to keep aloft. I would have felt sorry for those birds but I couldn’t help but think why they were even trying to fly in this mess?
Arriving at the farm, I let out a mild curse as I spied our German Shorthair, Buddy running around like a dog gone mad, bouncing, dashing and barking at everything that moved (and believe me a lot of things were moving). One look at the kennel told me who the accomplice was in his escape. Mr. Wind had dropped a large branch right on top of the hotwire in Buddy’s pen rendering it harmless. Great I thought. Now I had to catch this crazy dog and put him on the tie out until his daddy, my husband, could fix the hotwire and I had to do this while fighting my archenemy, the wicked Mr. Wind.
The first plan that formed in my mind was very simple and should have worked. I would get bouncing Buddy to jump into the back of the truck. It made sense to me. After all he was a bird dog and loved to go hunting so he would think he was going on a hunting trip. I lowered the tailgate and hollered.
“Here Buddy! Let’s go find some quail!”
The harsh wind ripped the words right out of my mouth and drove them fiercely in the opposite direction. Buddy defiantly did not hear my tantalizing invitation and to add to my aggravation he acted like he didn’t even know I was on the planet. 
Fine! I said to myself. It was time for plan B. While putting the tailgate back up, Mr. Wind graciously decided to help me by flinging it back into its original position, taking my arm none too gently along with it. Needless to say I did not appreciate the assistance. Gritting my teeth, I plowed my way through the dirt and flying branches to the barn. Safely inside I began the search for my secret weapon.
“Ah Ha,” I said as I grabbed the precious can of dog food. The dogs usually got dry dog food, but we always kept some canned on hand in case we had to hide some nasty medicine in it for them to take. They ALL loved the canned dog food. It was like chocolate to them. I knew Buddy’s keen sense of smell would pick up the enticing aroma and lead him to his destiny, the tie out.
Back outside I fought the wind and debris and again gain access to my truck. Becoming a contortionist somehow I got the truck door open while gripping the open can of dog food with my fingertips and using my elbow I honked the horn. Buddy finally acknowledged my presence and came flying to the truck. One whiff of the dog food and HE WAS MINE!  I coaxed him to the tie out and left him happily lapping up his ill-gotten treat while I finished my task. Vow renewed, I bolted into my truck and speed back to the safe confines of my house shouting as I drove. “Victory is Mine!”