Friday, June 27, 2014

Tess The Mess "The Tale Behind the Skunk's Behind"

Tess The Mess and The Tale Behind the Skunks Behind.
Hi! It’s me Tessy! I’ve been takin it easy out on the farm and finally feel like my old self. Since it has been hotter than a pig in a roastin pit outside, I’ve not been out for any of my usual adventures. But while I was recuperating Big Black Mama, Shadow told me some tales that happened before I became a member of the family. This one is about a naughty little skunk that caused a lot of trouble for dad. You’re gonna love it!
It was a beautiful fall night. Mom and dad were sound asleep when all kinds of ruckus erupted outside. All six dogs, including Shadow, were barkin like a bunch of wild coyotes. Prissy, the small inside dog let off her warning bark. This caused mom and dad to shoot right up in bed, hearts racing like a wildcat. They both got up as Prissy, a Pekinese, ran to the door. She barked and hopped and growled but dad wouldn’t open it. He and mom already knew what the problem was cuz they smelled the nasty stench seeping through the house. It was a darned old skunk. (I’ve tackled a few of these nasty critters too, but that’s another story.) Prissy didn’t get to go out and everyone went back to bed hoping the stinky varmint would soon be on his way. It was a false hope. The dogs barked all night long.
Now there were two dogs out there that particularly, didn’t like skunks, but more important than that was the fact that they were both trying to gain the title of top dog. Max had been top dog for more than four years, but then he had to go and father pups. He had no idea at the time that one of those pups would get to stay and would be just as stubborn as he was. Freckles was that pup.
The next morning dad went out to the kennels to fetch the dead skunk and haul him and his nasty self off to the country while mom headed to Amarillo for the weekend. Dad looked in all the kennels for the body, but all he found was a skunk’s tail in Freckles pen. He decided to further investigate cuz dad is like that. He has to check everything out. He let Freckles out in the yard and went on his search. No dead skunk in the water bucket. No dead skunk in the swimin pool. No dead skunk under the doghouse cuz the skunk was still alive! That stinky varmint had buried himself under Freckles doghouse. He was alive, but just barely.
Dad decided it was best to leave him there until he was dead for sure just to be safe, if you know what I mean. Well just as dad was about to leave Freckles pen Max climbed over his kennel fence and bolted straight for Freckles. Freckles turn and there they were dumb and son of dumb (That’s what dad called ‘em) locked in a battle for head honcho.
Big Black Mama Shadow barked and barked at ‘em but they just kept on fightin. Dad got the water hose and sprayed them dogs smack in the face, but they just kept on fightin. Finally dad had enough! He grabbed Max’s collar and bopped him on the nose. That must of got Max’s attention cuz he finally let loose of Freckles neck. Then dad opened the garage door and threw Max in there. Freckles headed after Max, but dad caught him and made him sit. You won’t believe what happened next. As dad and Shadow were catchin their breath, they looked out at the kennels and there was that darn skunk. That stinky rascal slowly made his way out of the kennel and down the alley, minus one tail. Dad and Shadow just shook their heads in disbelief.
So if you’re ever out in our part of the country and see a skunk runnin around without a tail, you know the story behind his behind.
Written by My Mom Cathy Collar
because I don’t have thumbs or fingers.