Fun Times on The Funny Farm~ The Alien Fence Charger

The Case of The Alien Fence Charger

By Cathy Collar

 

Upon returning to the farm with our lab/pyrenees mix, Lucky, after having her spayed, I was again greeted by my loving groupies Shadow, Tess, and Coco. I was surprised to see that two more dogs had joined my group of fans. Surprised not because these two were not already fans but because they were suppose to be in their kennels. Buddy, our Houdini german shorthair and Kookie, our crazy Brittany had escaped during the storm the night before.

This was not a complete surprise as they both have done this many times. Buddy has developed the ability to climb between the top and bottom hot wires on his fence and somehow squeeze out. Kookie takes the complete opposite route and digs under. Kookie’s kennel also has a hot wire around it, but it is only hooked up periodically because usually filling the hole is all it takes to keep her in.

Leaving a lethargic Lucky in the Tahoe, I opened the door and lovingly greeted my fans. This was a ruse to fool Kookie and Buddy into thinking I was not going to catch them

and put them back in their kennels. Collars grabbed I led them both back to their pens. I hooked Buddy up to a tie out that we keep close by for this general purpose. Opening Kookie’s gate I scooted her in and locked the gate behind her giving her a firm command to stay. Searching around I found two metal bars lying on the ground. I walked to the backside of her kennel to block her hole that I knew I would find in her favorite digging spot. I reached the spot and sure enough there was the hole, just big enough for her to shimmy her petite form through. I poked the iron bars into the ground and slid the top part of them through the fence. Now to secure the next escapee.

I started back to the front of the kennel but as I was about to round the corner I was zapped by what felt like three sparks of electricity. I look accusingly at the dead fence charger wondering how it could have thrown those wicked zaps at me without being plugged in. My mind zipped back to the movie Maximum Overdrive (you know the one where the machines go bonkers and try to take over the world.) Could it be? Had aliens recharged my fence charger and sent those nasty sparks to keep me away from their secret?

 Standing perfectly still, I took a closer look at my assailant. As I watched I saw one of the aliens emerge from beneath the charger. First, spindly antennas, then an oblong head followed by a thin body sporting a yellow jacket. It was followed by at least a dozen more. I quickly ran in the opposite direction. Yes my hot wire fence had been recharged, but the culprit was anything but alien.

Well away from my attackers, I unplugged Buddy’s fence and put him inside. After maneuvering the wire to try to keep him in I plugged it back in. Finally I let Lucky loose in her pen to enjoy a nice long nap. Stinging on my hand and inner thighs, I vowed my revenge as I drove back to town. I know exactly where I have stashed my extra long distance wasp spray.