Friday, September 7, 2012

Fun Times on The Funny Farm ~Lucky's Not so Lucky Day

Lucky’s not so Lucky Day
By Cathy Collar

The time had finally come to get our lab/pyrenees mix, Lucky, spayed. A possible love affair with our english pointer, Romeo Rex, made this decision a necessity. As I drive slowly to our farm I am dreading the process of loading a very large dog that has not had much leash training into my Tahoe.
Pulling into the yard I am greeted by my enthusiastic groupies; Shadow, our old black lab and leader of our pack, Tess The Mess, our adventurous lab/greyhound mix, and Coco Puff our lovable huggable lab/mutt. I cautiously back the Tahoe up to Lucky’s kennel trying hard to keep track of my excited fans romping around outside.They are all seeking the door I am going to open for my exit.
Gathering Lucky’s leash and choke collar (yes choke collar she weighs 93 lbs and likes to run!) I open the door. There all three dogs stand panting and whining and vying for the spot where I am going to step next. After petting each one and giving them some love, I move to my target.
Miss Lucky is our gentle giant. She never jumps up on me and loves to be hugged, but when her kennel door is about to be opened she gets way excited. She bounces, jumps and rears up to her full five foot height ready to explode into her romp around the farm. I have no desire to go Lucky chasing so I have to make sure to get my body between her and the gate. If I can slip in before she gets out I can get the choke collar on her and have some small amount of control.
Taking a deep breath I cautiously open the gate.  Lucky tries to dart past my leg. I grab her by the collar jolting my arm out of socket in the process. I have her, but I also have three other dogs trying to get between us so they can be petted. I twist and turn and finally get to the back door of the Tahoe and open it. Finding it impossible to get Lucky’s choke collar on with her pulling and three other dogs trying to give me kisses, I toss it into the back and hold onto Lucky with both hands.
I thought I had this all planned out, but plan A is definitely not working. I pull Lucky over to the Tahoe’s back door all ready to coax her in. At this time Shadow decides she needs to go in first. After all she is top dog. I let her pass thinking maybe if she is in there Lucky will follow. No way. Lucky dives underneath the vehicle attempting to break out of my grasp. Letting one hand go I grab the bumper saving myself from being drug under with her. Meanwhile Miss Tess decides she needs to go for a ride too. Now I have two dogs in the Tahoe and one halfway underneath. I pull and tug and finally get Lucky out from underneath the back fender only to find that Coco has decided she would like to join in the fun.
Coco is quite overweight and has a bad hip so even though she wants to get into the vehicle she finds the jump way to hard so instead she stands in the doorway looking at me like aren’t you gonna help me in? I nudge her out of the way and pause to catch my breath. Now thoroughly ticked I lift Lucky’s large paws one at a time into the Tahoe. Then with a quick maneuver I slide behind her and push her big butt in. She has no other option than to go. I swiftly close the door before she can jump out. Now I face my other problem. I still have two dogs that do not need to go to the vet in the car. I crack the side door open where Shadow is sitting. She hops to the back putting Lucky between her and the door. Lucky, seeing an opportunity to get out, dives for the opening. I slam the door shut. Okay, let’s see if Tess will be more obliging.
I gradually open the back door grasping Lucky’s collar before she can jump. Tess and Shadow are now by the two side doors. I call sweetly to Tess. “Here Tessy. Come here. Come get some love.” Tess runs to me excited to get the extra attention. She is my most devoted fan. As she reaches me I step back so she has to jump out to get her reward. Once again I slam the door shut before Lucky escapes. While praising Tess for being such a good girl, I search for a plan to outsmart Shadow. Scanning the inside of the Tahoe I see Shadow’s eyes following my every step. She is ready to move to a less grabable (yes for me this is a word and all dogs know it very well) location when I open a door. I think to myself, “If I can get Shadow into the front seat there won’t be enough room for her to change places with Lucky.” Have I mentioned that Shadow is also a little hefty? Well she is.
Dog biscuit in hand I open the front door and hold out the tempting treat. Shadow takes the bait! As she jumps into the front seat, I clutch her collar, which of course comes off in my hands. Quickly I grab her ears and drag her out digging heels and all and again slam the door shut before Lucky can flee. Slipping Shadows collar back on her neck I scold her for being a bad dog, which gets me a wagging tail and smile. Finally one hour later Lucky and I are off the vet.
As I drive down the road with the air conditioner blasting in my face a thought forms in my mind. On the next trip to the vet to get a dog fixed I do believe Romeo Rex should be the passenger.


  1. OMG Mom this had me rolllin'. So frustratin yet so entertaining. :o)

    1. Thanks Jen. It was funny after the fact. Too hot to think of it as being funny that day.