The Case of The Alien Fence Charger
By Cathy Collar
Upon returning to the farm with our lab/pyrenees mix, Lucky,
after having her spayed, I was again greeted by my loving groupies Shadow,
Tess, and Coco. I was surprised to see that two more dogs had joined my group
of fans. Surprised not because these two were not already fans but because they
were suppose to be in their kennels. Buddy, our Houdini german shorthair and
Kookie, our crazy Brittany had escaped during the storm the night before.
This was not a complete surprise as they both have done this
many times. Buddy has developed the ability to climb between the top and bottom
hot wires on his fence and somehow squeeze out. Kookie takes the complete
opposite route and digs under. Kookie’s kennel also has a hot wire around it,
but it is only hooked up periodically because usually filling the hole is all
it takes to keep her in.
Leaving a lethargic Lucky in the Tahoe, I opened the door
and lovingly greeted my fans. This was a ruse to fool Kookie and Buddy into
thinking I was not going to catch them
and put them back in their kennels. Collars grabbed I led
them both back to their pens. I hooked Buddy up to a tie out that we keep close
by for this general purpose. Opening Kookie’s gate I scooted her in and locked
the gate behind her giving her a firm command to stay. Searching around I found
two metal bars lying on the ground. I walked to the backside of her kennel to
block her hole that I knew I would find in her favorite digging spot. I reached
the spot and sure enough there was the hole, just big enough for her to shimmy
her petite form through. I poked the iron bars into the ground and slid the top
part of them through the fence. Now to secure the next escapee.
I started back to the front of the kennel but as I was about
to round the corner I was zapped by what felt like three sparks of electricity.
I look accusingly at the dead fence charger wondering how it could have thrown
those wicked zaps at me without being plugged in. My mind zipped back to the
movie Maximum Overdrive (you know the one where the machines go bonkers and try
to take over the world.) Could it be? Had aliens recharged my fence charger and
sent those nasty sparks to keep me away from their secret?
Standing perfectly
still, I took a closer look at my assailant. As I watched I saw one of the
aliens emerge from beneath the charger. First, spindly antennas, then an oblong
head followed by a thin body sporting a yellow jacket. It was followed by at
least a dozen more. I quickly ran in the opposite direction. Yes my hot wire
fence had been recharged, but the culprit was anything but alien.
Well away from my attackers, I unplugged Buddy’s fence and
put him inside. After maneuvering the wire to try to keep him in I plugged it
back in. Finally I let Lucky loose in her pen to enjoy a nice long nap.
Stinging on my hand and inner thighs, I vowed my revenge as I drove back to
town. I know exactly where I have stashed my extra long distance wasp spray.
