An Ode To The Fly
By Cathy Collar
By Cathy Collar
God in his wisdom invented the fly and then forgot to tell us why.
A very funny and talented man, Mr. Ogden Nash, wrote this poem a very long time ago.
Not one to want to offend any of Mr. Nashs' many fans, including myself, I type this next statement with reluctance. I must respectably disagree. After fighting off one of these pesky, annoying, nasty creatures for the last hour, I have decided that the fly along with all of its annoying attributes could not have been invented by a loving, caring god.
No, the FLY is most definitely the Spawn of Satan!
Satin in his evil invented the fly
And yes indeed he did know why.
He sent it out on one fine day,
To annoy us in every way.
Yes, this is how I perceive this stupid, nasty, irritating bug.
I was sitting in my comfy chair leisurely typing my new story when I heard a strong buzzing near my ear. I casually whisked it away, my thoughts intent on my new creation.
A few seconds later I felt a tickle on my arm. Again I thoughtlessly flicked it away. My creative juices were flowing and just as I was about to get to the most exciting part, the climax of my story, I experienced a sharp bite on my ankle.
Dropping my computer and slapping my ankle only resulted in pain and anguish for me. Pain from the slap and anguish from the knowledge that somewhere between the chair and the floor my whole story had disappeared!
“This means war!” I shouted as I stomped into the kitchen to plan my attack.
First I grabbed my trusty weapon, the fly swatter. Next I placed a sticky, succulent donut dripping with sugar on the countertop and waited ready to spring my trap at any sign of the devious creation. Finally I heard a buzzing in the window above the sink. I readied myself with my trusty weapon.
“Come on you bugger, I’ll get you now.”
I eagerly watched as it flew to my bait. It buzzed around my tasty morsel then warily lit on the edge. Now was my chance! Heart pounding, brow sweating I swung my trusty swatter bludgeoning the donut into oblivion.
“Take that you filthy, disgusting beast.”
About this time my husband walked into the kitchen. There I stood swatter in hand, sweat dripping from my brow staring at the mushy mess that once was a precious donut.
“Trying a new diet?” he casually asked as I looked up.
“No! I am killing a fly.” I said through gritted teeth.
He looked at the donut then at me. “You missed.” He said nonchalantly.
“I couldn’t have! I had him right in my sights! I know I got him!” I yelled as I searched the massacred mess for any sign of my nemesis. I found none. No leg, no wing not a darn thing.
My husband sensing my pain gently put his arm around my shoulder and whispered in my ear. “It’s okay dear. They only live one day. By tomorrow it will be dead.”
An evil smile spread across my lips.
Satan with his Evil invented the Fly,
but God decided when it would Die!
Thank you Dear Lord!